Fate Loves the Fearless

This past year was full of a lot of ups and downs. Something I didn't love. I mean I realize that there is a natural ebb and flow to life-There are highs and lows. There is bitter and sweet. There are gray days and sunny days and it’s all part of the package... and that's just fine and dandy when you grow and learn from them but when you find yourself in the bipolar whirlpool of life because you keep making the same mistakes over and over again, that's when you know you have a problem. There's that famous Albert Einstein quote that says "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Definition of my life last year.  Its hard, you get comfortable in certain situations or with particular people and even though you know its not ideal, it feels safe to stay and you always hope that maybe somehow it'll be different. It never is. All too often I'm fearful of change, even though I know the only way to get new results is to mix things up. 

I don't know if any of you have ever read it, but in the book Flow it defines fear with the acronym False Evidence Appearing Real--basically saying that fear occurs  when we have negative expectations of a situation--even when those expectations are completely unfounded (as the majority of them are) and then we recoil and react like the worst has happened (even if it hasn't). I do that constantly. with everything. And I really do mean with everything. And I always regret it when its too late. Its stopped me from taking a lot of chances in life and doing a lot of things and making a lot necessary changes. So this year I'm going to expect the worst (because I can't change my brain from over-thinking) but instead of reacting I'm just going to be OK with it and then take action as if I weren't afraid.  Fear is always going to be there, we just need to want whats on the other side of it more than wherever we're at now and have the courage to make the jump.

So this year I want to be fearless. I want to live boldly. I want to have the courage to take chances and make changes. I want to live in the moment. I want to go where there are no guarantees. I want to get out of my comfort zone even if it means feeling uneasy. I want to be vulnerable. I want to be honest. I want to be open. I want to be myself. I want to let go of safe and I want to dive straight into life with freeing abandon. I want to fail and be ok with it. I want to believe in myself. I want to travel the road less traveled even though it might be full of bumps. I want to go where I've never gone and discover uncharted territory. I want to speak my mind. I want to have the courage to accept that I'm not perfect, that in fact nothing is and that is just fine. I want to live, in-spite of the things that scare me to death.