What if?

So many times in our lives we let moments pass us by that in reality could maybe change our lives. My philosophy in life has always been that whatever happens to fall into my life is what's suppose to be there and that's the best that I can get, whether that be a job or a boyfriend or whatever. But lately i've been thinking back to all the moments in my life where I've wanted to say or do something and I haven't done it because I was either too scared or figured it didn't matter or figured if i just waited it out and was patient it would cross my path eventually. Most of the time though, life just goes on and that opportunity just passes by and nothing changes. There are so many times in my life where I wish I would've said exactly what was on my mind, or done exactly what I wanted to do without thinking twice because I feel like it definitely could have altered the path my life has taken. Dream jobs, amazing experiences, perfect boyfriends don't just drop into your lap, you have to go find them and make them happen. Good things happen in life without us doing anything to facilitate them happening, but amazing, life changing experiences are the ones that you have to make happen.

I really love my life. I don't have many complaints about it and I think i'm pretty lucky to have had the opportunities that i've had and to have crossed paths with the people that I have, however, I know that I haven't made the most of it by any means. I've been living life rather passively and life isn't a passive process, it's meant to be an active process. As i get closer to the end of my college years, I can't help but look back and wish I'd done things differently. I wonder what would've happened had I chosen a major earlier, maybe I'd have more time to take some of the classes that i'd really like to take. Or if I'd taken the time to apply for scholarships or internships, if that would've better prepared me for a career someday. I wonder what friends I missed out on making because I wasn't as social as I probably should have been. Or what could've been if I'd actually talked to one of those many cute boys in my classes instead of just looking at them. Or if just in general I'd put myself out there more as far as dating goes.

Obviously, we can't go back and change the past and see the effects different decisions could've made on our lives, but looking back and seeing all these missed opportunities makes me not want to miss out on them anymore. Putting yourself out there can be scary. But even if you don't get your dream job, or that cute boy you finally talk to ends up being a jerk, at least you won't be wondering "What if" anymore.

So say what you want to say, do what you want to do, and be who you want to be.