Break time

So I know I'm not really a regular blogger on this thing, it's more like a bunch one month and then none for the next 5, but I just wanted to put it out there that I'm taking a little break. My friend Kat and I started another blog focused on some goals that we are working on so I'm going ot focus on that one for a bit, then maybe in a few months I'll get back to writing on this one more regularly. In the meantime, you should all check out the other blog.... http://blossomingintentionally.blogspot.com/
....and let us know what you think or if you have any ideas on how to make it better!

Canooling into 26

Its my best friend Kat's birthday today. So I thought we could look back on all the good times we've had together so far. Like...

....the first time we ever took a roadtrip together...

 ...or the first time we ever went to Idaho together....

 ...or the first time Kat had the pleasure of sharing a bed with me...

 ...or that time we saw old faithful....

 ...or that time we wanted a green one that says Greenstone....

 ...or that time we went to Yellowstone....

 ....or that time we stuffed ourselves with muddy buddies....

 ...or that time we drove all the way to the Idaho border just to get this picture....

 ....or that time Kat spent $15 at McDonalds.....

 ....or that time we went stargazing and it was like -50 degrees out and we thought our faces were going to freeze off....

 ....or that time we went to the midnight showing of one of the Twilight movies....

 ...or that time Kat let me spend Thanksgiving with her family...

 ...or that time we went to a Jazz game...

 ...or that OTHER time we went to a Jazz game...

 ...or one of those many times we drank big gulps and watched The Hills while eating pie and donuts...

 ...or that time we had to sleep over in the Miami airport.....

 ...or that time we kept getting hit on by gross guys when all we wanted to do was soak up the sun....

 ...or that time we ate dinner with cute guys on our cruise....

 ...or that time Kat was afraid of fish....

 ...or that time all of our Zumba classes paid off and Kat got to do the Jai Ho dance with our waiter....

 ....or that time we were really good-looking...

 ....or that time we went bowling....

 ....or that time we became obsessed with the Biebs.....

 ....or that time when we tried to find Fantasy Canyon....

 ...or that time we found an old ghost town....

 ....or that time I got attacked by a dinosaur and all Kat did was take a picture....

 ...or that time I forgot to cover Kat up with the space blanket after she died.....

...or that time Kat tried to be good at yoga....

...or when our friendship was first cemented by our first Peter B. concert...

 ...or that time there were RIVERS COMING FROM THE SIDESTREETS!....

 ...or that time we got our picture taken with Peter B.....

 ...or that time we were the biggest Transformers fans ever....

 ....or that time we stalked Peter B. once again....

....or that time all our wildest dreams came true....

 ...or that time we visited bear lake....

 ....or that time she came to visit me in Seattle...

 ...or that time I tried to teach Kat how to skip a rock....

 ...or that time we went to Lagoon and I made her ride the same ride 5 times in a row with me....

 ....or that other time we went to the OR coast and tried to set off a floating lantern but were too afraid of causing a fire....

 ...or that OTHER time we were really really good-looking....

 ...or that time Kat forced me into facing my biggest fear....

 ...or that one time where we actually took a normal picture...

 ....or that one time where Kat gave me the longest nickname never....

 ...or that one time we ate delicious waffles....

...or that one time where Kat got married and looked absolutely stunning....

....basically she's the best friend and side-kick a girl could ask for and she's coming to visit me in 3 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday and I hope 26 is your best year yet!

Fate Loves the Fearless

This past year was full of a lot of ups and downs. Something I didn't love. I mean I realize that there is a natural ebb and flow to life-There are highs and lows. There is bitter and sweet. There are gray days and sunny days and it’s all part of the package... and that's just fine and dandy when you grow and learn from them but when you find yourself in the bipolar whirlpool of life because you keep making the same mistakes over and over again, that's when you know you have a problem. There's that famous Albert Einstein quote that says "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Definition of my life last year.  Its hard, you get comfortable in certain situations or with particular people and even though you know its not ideal, it feels safe to stay and you always hope that maybe somehow it'll be different. It never is. All too often I'm fearful of change, even though I know the only way to get new results is to mix things up. 

I don't know if any of you have ever read it, but in the book Flow it defines fear with the acronym False Evidence Appearing Real--basically saying that fear occurs  when we have negative expectations of a situation--even when those expectations are completely unfounded (as the majority of them are) and then we recoil and react like the worst has happened (even if it hasn't). I do that constantly. with everything. And I really do mean with everything. And I always regret it when its too late. Its stopped me from taking a lot of chances in life and doing a lot of things and making a lot necessary changes. So this year I'm going to expect the worst (because I can't change my brain from over-thinking) but instead of reacting I'm just going to be OK with it and then take action as if I weren't afraid.  Fear is always going to be there, we just need to want whats on the other side of it more than wherever we're at now and have the courage to make the jump.

So this year I want to be fearless. I want to live boldly. I want to have the courage to take chances and make changes. I want to live in the moment. I want to go where there are no guarantees. I want to get out of my comfort zone even if it means feeling uneasy. I want to be vulnerable. I want to be honest. I want to be open. I want to be myself. I want to let go of safe and I want to dive straight into life with freeing abandon. I want to fail and be ok with it. I want to believe in myself. I want to travel the road less traveled even though it might be full of bumps. I want to go where I've never gone and discover uncharted territory. I want to speak my mind. I want to have the courage to accept that I'm not perfect, that in fact nothing is and that is just fine. I want to live, in-spite of the things that scare me to death.

Bring on the Gray Hairs

I found my first gray hair today. At first I thought maybe it was just leftover paint from a few weeks ago when I painted my room white. But nope, definitely a grey hair. I mean I guess it was only a matter of time right? I feel like I'm pretty old at heart already, like I came out of the womb at the emotional age of 50 and have just been getting older ever since, so I guess its about time my hair reflected my 76 year old personality. You think I'm making this up? Let me tell you a little bit about this wrinkled soul of mine...

I love raisin bran and bingo and cribbage and the TV show I Love Lucy.  Rock Hudson and Doris Day movies are where its at and I could listen to  Ella, Frank and Louis for hours. (if you don't know who I'm referring to, your probably too young to know what good music sounds like)

I'm not quite as bad of a driver yet. My eye sight may be worse than most but I can still see the majority of road signs. But when my eyesight does goes, I'll happily drive one of those tanks of a car so when I do get into fender benders I'll come out unscathed.

I'm not quite as mean--Those blunt thoughts that old people let lose for sure go through my head but luckily I still have a filter. Definitely not to the point in my life yet where people respect me enough that I can just say what I want to say.   And when I finally do get old enough where I can start blaming things on dementia, you can bet your buttons the 100% honest truth will be coming from this dentured mouth of mine.

Nightgowns? No, I don't own one yet (key word there is yet) but they look pretty comfy, like they promote a lot of airflow. Not all hot and constricting like pants. Almost like your naked...and I'm not going to lie, I really like not having clothes on.

I don't love technology. It keeps getting more and more complicated and I can't keep up. It's sad when your 5 year old niece can operate your iphone better than you can. On the topic of technology, I'd much prefer to actually talk with someone than text them. And I'd much MUCH prefer to get a handwritten letter in the mail than an email. If anyone is looking for a pen-pal, I'm here for you.

Some of my favorite foods are ones that require little to no chewing (perfect for those old people with dentures or no teeth) like apple sauce, jello, pudding, creamed corn, and icecream.

I have the worst hearing. I constantly have to ask people to repeat things. Or sometimes if I'm too embarrassed to ask them to repeat it, I just try to pretend that I know what they are saying. Sometimes it works but often I end up looking like a total fool.

If this is what having gray hair means than let me retire and live out my days in an old folks home, I'll become a bingo champion and finally have time to learn how to knit.

All things Christmas

I listen to Spotify at work most days. The music helps keep me sane and on task. But sometimes I have a problem with deciding what kind of music I want to listen to and today was one of those days. Slow music just seemed too slow and boring and I just couldn't find anything else with a beat that I really liked and I was about to just turn it off because I was spending more time on what music to listen to than my actual work when I remembered that its CHRISTMAS!! And I could listen to Christmas music.  Perfect.

It hasn't felt like Christmas this year to me yet. I think that's more due to the fact that I refuse to believe the year is already almost over. (Anyone else feel like it flew by too fast?!?) And due to the fact that there's no snow. (Utah please stop hogging it all.) And probably because I hadn't turned on the Christmas music yet. But its on, and it's time to be festive and time for me to talk about all my favorites parts of Christmas.

Number one on the list Christmas Lights! They are just so magical. And downright romantic. I just love driving around and seeing everyone's tree's in their windows all wrapped up with christmas lights. And of course on the houses too. It's so festive. One of my favorite family traditions is all of us piling in the car on Christmas Eve and driving around to look at all the houses with the best Christmas lights. We found some good ones.  Candy Cane lane here in Seattle..anyone gone?!?!? Its great. Me and Candy Cane lane will be having more than one rendezvous this year. Christmas lights...they just make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Second on the list....Christmas Lights! yeah, I love christmas lights so much they make it on the list as number two as well. More specifically Zoo Lights. What is better than mixing two of my favorite things together?!? The ones in Salt Lake were always fun, and the ones in St. Louis were great too. I hear the ones here in Seattle are ok, but I hear the ones down in Tacoma are pretty legit. So I will be making a trip down there in the next week for sure. Can't miss out on those babies.

Christmas Lights! come in at number 3 too. Just kidding, number 3 is Christmas trees. Sadly we didn't get one this year but I do love them. It's all about the real trees. They smell so good. Plus they are just so much fun to go cut down. Thats another thing I miss about home. Every year the day after Thanksgiving we'd drive out to the middle of nowhere and see who could find the best tree. Ultimately it was always up to my Mom who won. I'm not just her favorite child because I'm the smart and pretty one but also because I pick out the best Christmas trees.

This one should actually be at the very top of the list, I just got too excited to write about Christmas lights that  I got distracted but family is the ultimate best thing about Christmas. What can I say? I love them. Always love getting to spend whatever time I can with them. This year will be spent in California (No snow for me) with half the family. Pretty excited.

AND last one on the list...Christmas Lights. Guys, I just love them. I can't get over how magical they are.

Merry Christmas.

My Other Cooler Brother

This weekend was my brother Lance's birthday. He's thirty-something, I can't keep track, I just know he's old. (Definitely not young and spry like 26!) But lets be honest. No one really cares about him, and I just blogged about him a few months ago and I don't think you guys have fully recovered from that yet, so instead I'm going to talk about my other cooler brother Brandon today.

B is probably the most well-rounded of all of us. You name it, he is interested in it or has probably been interested in it at some point. He's just cool like that.  Here's a small peek into why he's so awesome....

He's artistic. He will never admit to it but he's an amazing artist and I love that he continually is trying to cultivate that talent. My favorite is watching him draw and paint with our nieces and nephews. They just love him for it. Every time he goes to visit them they get so excited to use his water colors and he's more than happy to oblige. He's also great with a camera, he's got some sweet photography skills.
He's great with kids. Oh my goodness our nieces and nephews just love Uncle B. He's the best of Uncles. He always has a game or a story up his sleeve and the kids just think he's the bees knees. None of the rest of us can compete when it comes to being the favorite Aunt or Uncle. B pretty much has it under wraps. He's going to make an amazing dad someday.

He's athletic. He rock climbs like a boss. He loves to get out and hike when the weather is nice out and in the winter he's always look for new places to snowshoe or cross-country ski. He took me on my very first cross-country ski experience. Oh boy was it was adventure, and I don't use the word adventure lightly. Recently he's taken to running and I've loved hearing him get excited when he pushes his limits or tacks on some extra time.
He's a great cook. I never go hungry when I'm staying with B. And if I am ever in search for a new recipe he's usually the one I go to because he has a lot of great ones up his sleeve.
He's so nice. I know the word nice is sort of broad but seriously B is just downright nice. There is no one more caring or selfless than B. He is constantly watching over me, making sure I'm ok and asking what he can do to help with anything. On several occasions he'll recommend books for me to read and then next thing I know they are just showing up at my door because he just decided to just order them for me instead. He's just so darn thoughtful.
He's creative. B is always coming up with great ideas. One year for Christmas he organized The Tolman Family Olympics! Complete with several events, medals for all the finalist and we even each had our own theme song. Talk about awesome.
He's motivating.  He always supports me in whatever and gives me that added boost of motivation whenever I need it. Not only is he outright motivating but the wonderful example that he is, is a constant motivation for me to be a better person. B is someone who is always trying to be a little bit better and do a little bit more. He's a wonderful example of perseverance and I love how open he is with me about the things he's working on and that we're able to have honest conversations about our lives.
He loves family. I love how much B loves our family. He is always coming up with any excuse to get us all together.  Out of all of us he's probably the best at keeping in touch with everyone.

Ok, I could go on for awhile. These are just a few of the things that come to mind when I think about how awesome of an oldest brother I have. Ladies, he's single so snatch him  up while you can because he is a catch. Your not going to find a better man. I sure lucked out when it comes to having the best oldest brother.

....And I guess Lance is OK as well. Happy Birthday Lance :)