What if?

So many times in our lives we let moments pass us by that in reality could maybe change our lives. My philosophy in life has always been that whatever happens to fall into my life is what's suppose to be there and that's the best that I can get, whether that be a job or a boyfriend or whatever. But lately i've been thinking back to all the moments in my life where I've wanted to say or do something and I haven't done it because I was either too scared or figured it didn't matter or figured if i just waited it out and was patient it would cross my path eventually. Most of the time though, life just goes on and that opportunity just passes by and nothing changes. There are so many times in my life where I wish I would've said exactly what was on my mind, or done exactly what I wanted to do without thinking twice because I feel like it definitely could have altered the path my life has taken. Dream jobs, amazing experiences, perfect boyfriends don't just drop into your lap, you have to go find them and make them happen. Good things happen in life without us doing anything to facilitate them happening, but amazing, life changing experiences are the ones that you have to make happen.

I really love my life. I don't have many complaints about it and I think i'm pretty lucky to have had the opportunities that i've had and to have crossed paths with the people that I have, however, I know that I haven't made the most of it by any means. I've been living life rather passively and life isn't a passive process, it's meant to be an active process. As i get closer to the end of my college years, I can't help but look back and wish I'd done things differently. I wonder what would've happened had I chosen a major earlier, maybe I'd have more time to take some of the classes that i'd really like to take. Or if I'd taken the time to apply for scholarships or internships, if that would've better prepared me for a career someday. I wonder what friends I missed out on making because I wasn't as social as I probably should have been. Or what could've been if I'd actually talked to one of those many cute boys in my classes instead of just looking at them. Or if just in general I'd put myself out there more as far as dating goes.

Obviously, we can't go back and change the past and see the effects different decisions could've made on our lives, but looking back and seeing all these missed opportunities makes me not want to miss out on them anymore. Putting yourself out there can be scary. But even if you don't get your dream job, or that cute boy you finally talk to ends up being a jerk, at least you won't be wondering "What if" anymore.

So say what you want to say, do what you want to do, and be who you want to be.

I have a few things to say:

1. Today started off not too great. It was snowing this morning and cute boy wasn't in class today, but soon the snow turned to rain which turned it into the perfect day to run! So i tied on my running shoes and went for a run in the rain, came home soaked, and took a nice hot shower...which in a nutshell translates into perfection!

2. Today at the grocery store they had this deal where you could buy 4 Kellogs products (like cereal or cereal bars) for $10 and get 2 gallons of milk free! So i did it. But with this great deal, came a big change in my life. I was getting my milk and I'm usually a 2% type of girl. I like my milk ot taste like milk, however, due to a recent nutrition kick lately, I instead got 2 gallons of skim milk. So far i've survived, we'll see if it satisfies in the continuing day.

3. I watched an episode of The Simpsons called Boy Meets Curl...and it's hilarious. We were never allowed to watch The Simpsons when we were younger, but college has opened my eyes to just how hilarious it is. I'm a big fan.

Rant

Today as i sat in the library for hours upon hours working on a group project, I had time much time to sit and ponder the things of my life. And i came to realize that at this point in my life I have no motivation. All i want to do is sit and read a good book, or get a whole weeks worth of good sleep where I don't wake up stressed about work or some homework assignment, I want to not feel guilty about taking time out of my day to workout instead of doing homework and I want time to bake real meals, I'm sick of this microwave chicken nuggets crap and instant oatmeal. And whilst I was thinking all this, I realized that I have every right to be sick of school at this point in my life. Because to this day I've spent almost 18 of my past 22 years of life in school! That's insane! Now, I have nothing against learning, however I do have a lot against tests, and group projects and having to read a billion of pages a night and pop quizzes. i think that society could have figured out a better way to make kids learn as opposed to forcing them into it. I love to learn, I will glady go to the library and pick up a book on how the brain functions and greatly enjoy reading it while sucking in what it has to say, but when your grade depends upon reading X amount of pages a night, plus you have a billion other things to do, I don't like learning so much. So you know what college, give us a break, we have a lot to deal with.

The Hills are alive...

This semester I'm doing an internship at a place called NOmen Global helping to teach English to speakers of other languages. The class i'm helping out in is a level one class so you often find yourself using props and hand gestures to explain things because explaining in words just makes them more confused. In class a few weeks back the teacher was explaining the concept of "this/that is" and "these/those are" and she had the students practicing by looking at a picture and saying things like "these are cows" or "those are trees". In the picture there were some rolling hills as the background and one of the questions that came up from one of the students was the difference between hills and mountains. The teacher tried explaining it a few times but it was obvious that the student still wasn't quite catching on. So the lady that was sitting next to me got the confused students attention, stood up and pulled me up with her. Then she point to her own chest (she was rather well endowed) and said "These are mountains" and then pointing to my chest, "Those are hills"! It was a good enough analogy that the confused student finally understood the difference between mountains and hills. All it took was one look at my chest for that student to understand that hills are significantly smaller than mountains.

Ode to my brothers

I'm a lucky girl. I've been blessed to have three older brothers, there are some people in the world who have none! I feel sorry for those people, because brothers are quite possibly some of the best friends you could ever have. My brothers may not always realize it but they are usually the first ones I call when I've had a bad day because I know after 30 seconds of talking to them they'll have me laughing and instantly make me feel better. Brothers are not only there for comic relief but they make great protectors. I always feel comfort in knowing that if a boy ever dumps me or hurts me, he'll be sure to feel the wrath of my brothers and that is not something you want to feel. They have all sorts of tricks up their sleeves. So many times i'll go on a date with some guy and he'll be nice enough, but then I start to think what would happen if my brothers were ever to meet him and I realize that he probably wouldn't ever stand a chance against them. And when i realize that, I realize that this kid probably isn't worth my time because I don't want to be dating some pansy. I also love that I can talk to my brothers about practically anything. Boys have a unique perspective on things and it's great to get advice from brothers because not only do they have that unique perspective but they know you really well. So Brandon, Lance, and Aaron...thanks for being the best brothers I could ask for! Heather, your not too bad either.

backwards??

I don't remember who I was talking to about this, but they mentioned that they thought our lives are lived backwards. And at first, I didn't quite understand, but after they explained it, it totally made sense! Think about it...

When we're young we have all this energy and we want to take all these risks but we have no money to do it and definitely no free time. But when we're old, we have no energy and we just would like to sit around and yet we have all sorts of money to go do things and all sorts of free time. Wouldn't it be great if you could be young and have lots of money and be able to go do everything you've ever wanted to do and then when your old be able to sit around and it won't matter that your poor.